Cary Briel

Whereas my notice
And my regard
Now seem obvious and cast
In rocky certainty–
Inevitability–
It wasn’t always so;
Your sentence wasn’t always sure;
But in recent days
Every inhalation
And beat–beat–beat
Of my sleeping heart
Each time our eyes meet
E’er comes to mind
My Penelope;
She, hidden in her chambers
While greasy fingerprints
Streak her door
Presumption of the whore;
And each time she shudders
At your approach
In dream I mutter
Oh! my reproach;
And my notice and regard
Burn hot as flame
And I appear as fourth
To furnaced three the same;
You’ve awakened me–
Hide in the rocks and flee.

I drive
While you of all things text
On Appled sliver
Tunneled, vexed–

What used to be me
Where I once joked
Now reigns beeps
And bleeps
And clicks
And ticks–

Except at times
When you do me a solid
Between your crimes
And mute
And I feel dirty
Even squalid.

I just woke up from a strange dream where a friend, who isn’t anyone I actually know, said at a certain point in the dream, “watch this!” Hearing this, I looked up and a female jogger ran from his yard down the sidewalk and passed another person who was walking. We were standing approx. 100 yards away on an adjacent sidewalk. I could tell by looking at the jogger that she was translucent compared the the person who was walking, and the walker didn’t notice her. So I asked my friend, “is she real?” Sensing his hesitation, I rephrased, “Would she be considered real to the tangible world?” To which my friend responded, “No.”

In this dream, I know that there was some lead up to the moment of his “releasing” the semi-opaque jogger, but I cannot readily remember most of the details. My friend’s father was involved in those early details, was present for the release, and also thereafter. Earlier in the dream, the father gave me and the friend something that we had to return after carrying it with us at another location w/ other people. It seems now that it was something non-tangible, and it was handed between us. It was just before the release of the jogger that I handed back whatever it was. I remember asking the friend’s father a question or two, but cannot remember the details.

After the release of the jogger, I had conversations w/ the friend about sleeping over at his house that night, and that event seemed to involve more incidents like the jogger, or at least interaction w/ people (people?) like her. As he and I conversed, he was busy outside his home attaching wire of a sort around the perimeter of his property/yard. There were at least three thin wires strung around the perimeter and affixed to trees, etc., the first at about 4ft height, and the other two higher, w/ about 1ft space between each and the preceding.

I remember asking him one particular question as he was affixing the wiring. It had something to do with whether or not he could sense it if he came into the presence of a lot of people (people?) like the jogger, and I seemed to be asking if he could sense it if he came into their presence all at once, as if they were all created/released at one given instant. He made a gesture as if he knew the experience well, and it was overwhelming.

It was at this point that I woke up.

“Canst thou draw out leviathan with an hook? or his tongue with a cord which thou lettest down? Canst thou put an hook into his nose? or bore his jaw through with a thorn? Will he make many supplications unto thee? will he speak soft words unto thee? Will he make a covenant with thee? wilt thou take him for a servant for ever? Wilt thou play with him as with a bird? or wilt thou bind him for thy maidens? Shall the companions make a banquet of him? shall they part him among the merchants? Canst thou fill his skin with barbed irons? or his head with fish spears? Lay thine hand upon him, remember the battle, do no more. Behold, the hope of him is in vain: shall not one be cast down even at the sight of him? None is so fierce that dare stir him up: who then is able to stand before me? Who hath prevented me, that I should repay him? whatsoever is under the whole heaven is mine. I will not conceal his parts, nor his power, nor his comely proportion. Who can discover the face of his garment? or who can come to him with his double bridle? Who can open the doors of his face? his teeth are terrible round about. His scales are his pride, shut up together as with a close seal. One is so near to another, that no air can come between them. They are joined one to another, they stick together, that they cannot be sundered. By his neesings a light doth shine, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning. Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out. Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron. His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth. In his neck remaineth strength, and sorrow is turned into joy before him. The flakes of his flesh are joined together: they are firm in themselves; they cannot be moved. His heart is as firm as a stone; yea, as hard as a piece of the nether millstone. When he raiseth up himself, the mighty are afraid: by reason of breakings they purify themselves. The sword of him that layeth at him cannot hold: the spear, the dart, nor the habergeon. He esteemeth iron as straw, and brass as rotten wood. The arrow cannot make him flee: slingstones are turned with him into stubble. Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of a spear. Sharp stones are under him: he spreadeth sharp pointed things upon the mire. He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment. He maketh a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be hoary. Upon earth there is not his like, who is made without fear. He beholdeth all high things: he is a king over all the children of pride.”
–Job 41

There are feet
You know–
Down to earth– like Mother feet;
Iron feet
Where flesh and God meet;

See the muddy toes!
Dirty toes– where dirt shows;

Babies, babies–
Babies everywhere
Being lifted up– high into the air
As mother cries
As mother wipes their eyes;

And their names–
They seem familiar– except for games
And Adam–
And subtlety–
Except the fruit of that damn tree;

Did you miss me,
All lifted up?
Seeing the misery of me–
Forgetting how much
You loved me.